"I'm writing to inform you of some pretty spooky occurrences in our quaint little home town, and I think there's only one thing that could possibly be behind it - ALIENS! Extra-terrestrials from another galaxy to reap havoc on our town.
"Luckily, I have been these beings for years now, and following last nights power anomaly, I have found hard evidence that aliens have been in Bromsgrove for years.
"You see, all UFO's are equipped with an inframagnetic electrodistruptor, a device that has the potential to shut down the entire planets power.
"The reason they have chosen to attack is us simple. In 2006, an inhabitant of The Oakalls was playing a carefree game of ultimate frisbee, when their flying disc came into contact with an alien ship, causing it to crash land and wipe out the band of ultimate frisbee players. All except one. That player...was me.
"For 8 years now I have tried to track the alien ship responsible for the deaths of everyone I've once loved, as once I returned conscious following the impact, it had vanished.
"Fortunately for us, this crash weakened the inframagnetic electrodistruptor, closing its range to the size of, oh I don't know say, BROMSGROVE?!
"For all my life I have been triangulating power anomalies to locate the ship and avenge my friends, and following the outage on the May 26, I have discovered the UFO's wreckage in the one place no one would ever look...Shoezone.
" It was here I discovered something even more terrifying than anything I could've possibly imagined. The aliens have the ability to take on human form! All around me were familiar faces, worn out faces, worn out faces..."
"So there's the facts. I'm glad these have finally surfaced after my decade of research. You can reply to this email address about my Nobel prize and if you would happen to know anybody capable of scribing a biography that'd be fantastic.
" The story of the electronic anomaly caused by aliens at 10.45pm in Bromsgrove on the May 26 has not gone unsolved and will always be remembered.
"Or it was a power cut. Maybe that too."
Alistair Keeling, 17, of Bromsgrove.
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